“Life is the art of living with uncertainty without being paralyzed by fear.” ~Dr. W. Dillon
I didn’t immediately look at going through cancer as an opportunity to rework my life, even though I knew it to be a wake-up call and change was needed. But I didn’t make those changes. Quite the contrary. All throughout treatment, I longed for a return to my old life, some sense of “normalcy”. Partly I could barely see the end of the treatment period, it seemed like it would last forever, making it difficult to imagine what my life could look like after cancer. And partly because treatment and healing took up all my energy…I didn’t have enough available band width to imagine anything different.
But now it’s coming on 4 years, and even though I’ll be on Aromasin until the end of 2019, it’s time to make some changes. And I think a lot of us are in the same place.
At the end of March, we had an opportunity to attend an evening with Anita Moorjani, author of New York Times bestsellers, Dying to Be Me, and What If This is Heaven? It was a special evening at the Seaside Center for Spiritual Living in Encinitas. I’d read her first book, Dying to Be Me, which details her remarkable 4-year journey from end-stage cancer, through near-death experience, to total healing, ...
I’ve kind of lost track of this piece, mostly because it’s on hold until at least after I’m done with chemo. I had an MRI just after Christmas to look more closely at some anomalies that had showed up in the earlier abdominal ultra-sound tests. The MRI confirms a small spot on my liver, and an eleven-centimeter growth on my right kidney. My oncologist isn’t concerned with either. She says if the spot on my liver is cancer, the chemo will take care of it. And the growth on my kidney is most likely harmless, and something that would never have turned up except for the other test. She said I’d be surprised at how many odd things turn up that never cause a problem. At any rate, after the chemo, there will likely be another MRI to see if there any changes, and a visit to a urologist to rule out any problems.
I'm learning more about my art, and from my art, every day. It's not so much a matter of skill or practice... mostly it's a shift in perspective, a way of shaping how I look at and exist in the world.
Other Great Sites: