When it first sunk in that I really have cancer, all sorts of resources, both physical and metaphysical, came to mind for how to best support this process. Some of them I’m doing, and others, not so much. But it feels a little like I just added “Go through breast cancer” to an already over-full TO DO list. Most of the rest of my life hasn’t changed… I’m still doing everything I was doing before. Why wouldn’t I? I actually feel fine. I realize that will likely change with the surgery next week, but up to this point or that day, I plan to go on feeling good.
So, if this cancer is a harbinger of massive change in my life, and I do believe it is, am I not honoring the process because I’m not making time/space for it in my life? I take it seriously, but our finances don’t allow me to stop doing what I’m doing and take off. As I work on what self-care seems called for in this moment, I wonder how to juggle it all.
I'm learning more about my art, and from my art, every day. It's not so much a matter of skill or practice... mostly it's a shift in perspective, a way of shaping how I look at and exist in the world.
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